


The Hairspray Fic

by SweetDreamsDarling



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Crack, Hairspray, M/M, Smut and Crack, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 09:31:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14077935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetDreamsDarling/pseuds/SweetDreamsDarling
Summary: What can you do with a potato and some hairspray?Read to find out!





	The Hairspray Fic

The Hairspray Fic

Thanks to the amazing @instarbuckswithdan for giving me the… Objects? For this

Dan didn’t straighten his hair anymore. A simple fact. But that didn’t mean he didn’t like to experiment with different styles - so, naturally, he had cans of hairspray in his room. He’d always use it, then walk around the apartment whining that he felt sticky and didn’t like the clingy feeling his hair had. Phil would just nod, pretending like he was listening for the millionth time. Of course he wasn’t. Dan had a habit of doing that, and Phil knew the routine by now. He knew it well. Dan would complain that he was sticky, go back to their bathroom, switch on the shower, take the hand shower off its holder, but it’d clatter to the floor about 30 minutes later.

Every.

Single.

Time.

Today, Dan had tried to make all his hair stick up in one single point, like a triangle on his head. He’d used 2 entire cans of hairspray, and he was feeling particularly sticky. Phil was out, he’d forgotten to buy Ribena and they were both suffering withdrawal symptoms from the sugary blackcurrant juice.

He walked through their lounge and into their kitchen, scouring the cupboards for something to snack on before he took his ritual shower. Phil had eaten all the cereal again, and the shopping was due later on in the evening. They’d order pizza or something for lunch.

At the back of a cupboard was a single potato, sitting happily on the shelf. Poor potato hadn’t don’t anything to anyone, but Dan enveloped it in his hand and put it on a chopping board. “I wonder what it’ll taste like.” Dan mused, fishing a vibrant green knife from the drawer and cutting the potato into cuboid shapes. He nibbled the end of one of them and spat it out. “How can this disgusting thing turn into something so delicious?!” He shouted, stabbing the knife through one of the pieces. “I’ll show this potato.” He was hissing, grabbing the cuboids in his fist and stomping away to the bathroom.

Phil had come back and was sitting in the lounge, he watched Dan stampeed through the room and into the bathroom, it didn’t look as if he’d seen Phil. The bathroom door slammed, but Phil didn’t hear it lock. Thinking Dan had just been annoyed with the pyramid on his head, Phil went back to his laptop, scrolling through tumblr.

Exactly 30 minutes later, the hand shower clattered down. “Okay, what the hell?” Phil groaned, throwing his laptop to his side and walking to the bathroom, not bothering to knock before going in.

“Dan! What are you even-” His eyes widened as he saw him squatted over the hand shower, the water making arcs as it shot up and back into the bath. It seemed like Dan had positioned it so it hit his butt directly. It didn’t see like Dan had noticed him, so Phil just watched as Dan picked up one of the potato pieces and pushed it inside his anus. The way he shivered kind of turned Phil on in the weirdest of ways.

“Don’t you want a go?”

He cleared his throat. “Need some help there?” Dan just grinned and nodded. “Okay.” Phil didn’t bother stripping, he just got behind Dan, letting the water soak his clothes. “Lean forward then.” He pushed Dan onto all fours and looked around, noting a can of hairspray that had been left out. He seized it, cracking off the lid and throwing it across the room, laughing under his breathe. “Give me some potato.” He said, waiting to get one before subjecting it to be covered in hairspray. When the potato was stiffened with it, he put the nozzle to Dan’s hole and sprayed it in, it seemed to enthral Dan enough to make him cum. While he was shaking, Phil shoved the stiffened potato into him and pushed it further with his finger.

“There. You’re done.” He stood up and switched off the water.

“I’ll show you what I want later.”


End file.
